Recently we took Julia to a show at the Kennedy Center. The reason we took her was because she loves Reggae music and it was a tribute to Bob Marley. The show was fantastic and very tastefully done. Throughout the show, the performers encouraged the audience to break out of the typical Kennedy center “mold” and to feel free to get up out of our seats and dance along with the music. During several of the songs, Julia delightfully did so.
The joy on her face was priceless.
The joy on her face was priceless.
Throughout the show, we noticed another audience member who seemed to love Bob Marley’s music even more than our sweet Julia. He was an adult male, and he almost literally danced his way through the entire concert. Even during the softer, acoustic pieces, he enthusiastically danced his heart out. Daws and I smiled to each other at the recognition of some of his behaviors - - most obviously a sort of lack of filter regarding his behavior in a public place and zero concern for what others thought of him.
About half-way through the concert, however, something very sad started to happen. The entire two rows in front of us were full of 18- and 19-year-olds, and they began to notice the dancing man. They started to laugh. The laughing became louder and louder, to the point where the entire section where we were sitting was laughing distractedly out loud. They were looking and pointing at the dancing man and ridiculing him. At one point, another grown man in our section actually stood up and began mimicking the dancing man, to which the teens loudly busted out in laughter, egging him on.
We couldn’t believe what we were seeing. Everything in me was screaming “Have you never been exposed to an Autistic person before?” “He isn’t bothering anyone and is clearly thoroughly enjoying himself – what gives you the right to make fun of him?”
I wanted to say something to them, but I was held back by my fear because I have been seriously burned from my attempts to confront people in the past – somehow having your head bitten off in return has a tendency to make you think twice before trying again.
As I sat there trying to think of what I could do that could bring peace in this situation, a young lady from a few rows behind us stood up, marched down to the man who had danced mockingly, and sternly spoke with him. Then she walked over and spoke to several of the teens and their 50+ year old adult leader in a very stern manner.
Instantly, the group quieted down. The ridiculing stopped.
I spoke with the lady at the end of the concert, and asked her what she had said to them. She said that she works with special needs people and was sooooo angry at their behavior and she told them that clearly that dancing man has some kind of special needs and that they should be ashamed of themselves. I thanked her for her boldness.
Good for her.
The whole incident kind of got me to thinking.
I think our society has come a very long way when it comes to tolerance and understanding of those around us who are different. I feel that 30 years ago, the behavior we observed is how I would have expected my peers at that age to behave and, regrettably, I probably would have been laughing right along with them.
Sadly, today we are much more fully surrounded by folks with disabilities – how can we not be, with the latest statistics showing the rate of Autism to be one in every 50 individuals? Society has come a very long way, and the schools I think have been working very hard to reduce bullying and increase awareness and understanding.
But, clearly, we still have a long way to go.
It’s a natural tendency to chuckle at the behaviors of someone who is different from us, but greater understanding is needed. Perhaps if those folks had a brother or sister, son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter, niece, nephew, cousin, or even neighbor with Autism they might not laugh so much because they would see the daily struggle, pain, hurt, and suffering that this disability causes.
And, having experienced this pain, instead of laughing at him because of his differences, they would recognize the pure joy he is experiencing in that moment and smile with him as he demonstrates that joy so visibly. In fact, they might actually get up and stand next to that Autistic individual who is dancing his heart out and join in with him in his joy, savoring his moment of beauty.
About half-way through the concert, however, something very sad started to happen. The entire two rows in front of us were full of 18- and 19-year-olds, and they began to notice the dancing man. They started to laugh. The laughing became louder and louder, to the point where the entire section where we were sitting was laughing distractedly out loud. They were looking and pointing at the dancing man and ridiculing him. At one point, another grown man in our section actually stood up and began mimicking the dancing man, to which the teens loudly busted out in laughter, egging him on.
We couldn’t believe what we were seeing. Everything in me was screaming “Have you never been exposed to an Autistic person before?” “He isn’t bothering anyone and is clearly thoroughly enjoying himself – what gives you the right to make fun of him?”
I wanted to say something to them, but I was held back by my fear because I have been seriously burned from my attempts to confront people in the past – somehow having your head bitten off in return has a tendency to make you think twice before trying again.
As I sat there trying to think of what I could do that could bring peace in this situation, a young lady from a few rows behind us stood up, marched down to the man who had danced mockingly, and sternly spoke with him. Then she walked over and spoke to several of the teens and their 50+ year old adult leader in a very stern manner.
Instantly, the group quieted down. The ridiculing stopped.
I spoke with the lady at the end of the concert, and asked her what she had said to them. She said that she works with special needs people and was sooooo angry at their behavior and she told them that clearly that dancing man has some kind of special needs and that they should be ashamed of themselves. I thanked her for her boldness.
Good for her.
The whole incident kind of got me to thinking.
I think our society has come a very long way when it comes to tolerance and understanding of those around us who are different. I feel that 30 years ago, the behavior we observed is how I would have expected my peers at that age to behave and, regrettably, I probably would have been laughing right along with them.
Sadly, today we are much more fully surrounded by folks with disabilities – how can we not be, with the latest statistics showing the rate of Autism to be one in every 50 individuals? Society has come a very long way, and the schools I think have been working very hard to reduce bullying and increase awareness and understanding.
But, clearly, we still have a long way to go.
It’s a natural tendency to chuckle at the behaviors of someone who is different from us, but greater understanding is needed. Perhaps if those folks had a brother or sister, son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter, niece, nephew, cousin, or even neighbor with Autism they might not laugh so much because they would see the daily struggle, pain, hurt, and suffering that this disability causes.
And, having experienced this pain, instead of laughing at him because of his differences, they would recognize the pure joy he is experiencing in that moment and smile with him as he demonstrates that joy so visibly. In fact, they might actually get up and stand next to that Autistic individual who is dancing his heart out and join in with him in his joy, savoring his moment of beauty.
